3 Tips To Stop Body Shaming Yourself
SHIFT AWAY FROM "NOT GOOD ENOUGH" to "GOOD ENOUGH"
Many of us are our own worst enemies when it comes to our perception around what we have or have not achieved, as well as how we look. As women who live in a society that values body perfection, this “not enough” talk may manifest in the form of body loathing.
How We View Our Bodies Often Results in “Not Enough” Thinking.
Every week we teach a class on body image at Green Mountain at Fox Run and we ask our program participants:
How much of your day is spent thinking about your weight?
On average about a third of the group will raise their hands at 50% of their day.
Two-thirds raise their hands at 75% and up.
When asked if they know of any woman who loves her body – rarely does anyone raise their hand.
When asked if they’re able to hear/receive compliments, 90% – 100% – week after week – share that it’s hard to allow the good in, because they simply don’t believe the compliment that is being given is true.
One of our instructors read a great article written by Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love, in which she writes about how as women we often succumb to that all-too- common feeling of ‘not enough’ – no matter what we have achieved, how we show up in life, or what we look like.
As women we tend to measure ourselves against each other, a past self, and/or an expectation of an optimal “Future Self.” Often, how we view our size, weight and shape is a common way in which this “not enough” mentality can show up.
If you find that you find your thoughts often default to negative self-talk, here are 3 tips on how to begin shifting from “not enough” to “good enough” — one thought and action at a time.
1. ACCEPT THOSE COMPLIMENTSEven if you aren’t buying it. Don’t argue. A simple “Thank you” or “Thank you for saying that.” is enough. Practice taking the “good” in.
2. SHIFT YOUR FOCUS TO WHAT YOUR BODY DOES FOR YOUWhen you notice a self-deprecating thought pop up, simply interrupt that auto-pilot by saying “cancel“, “stop” and shift your focus to a more nurturing thought, such as “I’m okay”, “I’m enough as I am” or “I choose self-care”. Also, by focusing on what our body does for us – something we may take for granted such as our strength, stamina, ability to be mobile – is a good first step toward shifting the focus of our inner dialogue.
3. ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR STRENGTHS
Develop an attitude of gratitude. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, claims the positive comments need to outweigh the criticisms of another (5 to 1) for cultivating a healthy, loving relationship. The same goes for our relationships with our bodies. We need to focus on our strengths more than we focus on our flaws. If you need help with identifying what those are – try this Strengths Finder Assessment to get you started.
These are simple, yet effective steps that can be practiced regularly in order to begin shifting from “not good enough” thinking to the practice of acknowledging and even honoring our strengths.
It’s okay to have goals and aspirations for ourselves – but it’s important to do so from a self-acceptance and self-regard.
Exclusively for women of all backgrounds, shapes and sizes, Green Mountain at Fox Run (GMFR) in Vermont is a healthy living retreat that teaches how to live healthfully and happily, free of feelings of restriction and deprivation often associated with dieting and the thin ideal. As the nation’s oldest retreat exclusively for women who struggle with weight, emotional and binge eating, and feelings of food addiction, the team has spent over four decades developing and refining a practical, pioneering non-diet strategies that have helped thousands of women end the yo-yo cycle of weight loss and regain. You’ll work with our caring and experienced team that includes nationally renowned experts in the fields of behavioral and emotional health, eating behavior and nutrition, fitness and movement. We are pioneers, innovators and thought leaders in our field, offering the only program of its kind in the country.